I wonder any readers reading this ever experience either personally or heard about from others about their fear of toilets. I remember when I was growing up in the small town of Kuching (it was small in the 70's), I studied in St. Thomas's primary school. I have this distinct fear of going to the school toilet. It was a big toilet, the ceiling was like 20ft high, dark and eerie. I dread to go to the toilet and I will "tahan" until I went back home to pee or doodie. Of course this didn't do my body any good as 20 years later I developed kidney stones. Never hold your bladder but go if you have to even when you fear toilets, but this is not the point of this blog post.
I used to get nightmares even through my teen years up till my 30's on toilet visits. I really mean nightmares. Usually, when I am sleeping and my bladder is full and the sensation of relieving oneself increases my nightmare begins. I am dreaming that I actually wake up to go to the toilet. However, in every dream like this one, when I enter the toilet, I will feel that there is something or someone in the toilet and almost 100% of my dream, while I am in the process of peeing, a ghost (I see dead people) will appear besides me. Usually, the ghost will not appear immediately but slowly approach, coming out from from one of the cubicles and slowly makes its way to where I am standing and peeing. Since the actual and real sensation of not really emptying my bladder has occurred I have no choice but to continuing peeing while this ghost is approaching and finally standing besides me. I am like, why am I still not finish with my peeing as I really want to run away from the ghost. In most occasion I will jerk up from my sleep and feel a sense of relief both from knowing that the ghost did not really exist and of course from releasing my bladder content.
I know others who are afraid to use public toilets as well. I never asked whether because it is a fear of ghost or just because public toilets are especially filthy. Whether they have stomachache or having their bladder full, they refuse to use public toilets and probably have to rush home just to do "their business".
Well, that fear of toilets have transverse one generation and now my son has a fear of going to the toilet, even at home. Every time he has to pee,I need to escort him there. I am his personal bodyguard to the toilet to ward off "dead people". He does not have nightmares like I did and I hope not coz, 30-odd years of the same scary nightmare is no fun if not permanent doing damage to my emotional state. I can really relate to the scene in the "Sixth sense" when he has to go to the toilet but is afraid coz there is a dead girl ghost waiting for him at the corridor, brrrr.
I am not sure why I am cursed with this nor why my son is now afraid of toilets, but I am glad that today, that nightmare does not haunt me anymore. I now do not any longer see ghost in toilets.
I SEE GHOST IN TOILETS, written by Christopher Lim